While Networking, Get Outside Your Comfort Zone! Step #1: Don't Just Network With Other Women!

Have you ever had to work with someone that was completely different from you, but somehow it just worked?  In cases like this, your personalities or your skill sets balance each other out, or maybe even complement one another.  The beauty of being different is that you can achieve, create and reach higher potential. 

This principle can relate to so many things in life, but for now, let's apply it to networking.  If you only ever chatted with, worked with, and sought mentors that were similar to you, you would be closing yourself off from many opportunities and fresh ideas.  Imagine if your favorite type of exercise was golf, but that's all you ever did.  Your muscles, skills, and know-how would be limited; unknowing of the other great sports and benefits out there.  Think of the benefits of deep breathing in yoga or the full body strength developed by swimming?  Too bad.  You wouldn't know because you stick to the one thing you like.

Back to the main point: diversity of experiences poses the opportunity to develop more strengths, find new opportunities, and appeal to more types of people.  Therefore, when networking it's so easy to stay in the comfort zone of talking to people like ourselves (we already know topics we could discuss, etc).  However, get out there- networking with those who are different than you could lead to learning about a position that is a better fit for your personality, a promotion, or simply making new acquaintances and becoming a more interesting person!  The more you learn about people, the more you like them!

Tips:
1)If networking with strangers is really difficult for you, you can try two different tactics: A)Be courageous in choosing your first person to talk to! Everything else is easier after that initial conversation. OR B)Ease in by choosing someone similar or someone that you know. Maybe working up the courage is preferred for you. (I really do suggest option A though)
2)Conversations are most effective when you ask a lot of questions.  Be interested and curious!  You will learn more.  If it helps you, prepare possible questions beforehand.
3)Know what's going on in the world.  A conversation is like a tennis match- it goes back and forth, so try to keep things even.  If you have a number of topics that relate to the person with whom you are speaking or event that you are at, use those first! If not, current events in the industry are a good backup.
4)Try to keep conversations meaningful, but not dragged out. I would stick to the window of 5-15 min per person (if you are one on one, a group dynamic is different).

As always, be classy, be kind, and you'll earn the respect you deserve.

You're SO Busy! How do you fit in time to go to the GYM? Tips Below!

You already know that exercise prevents disease, improves your mood, allows for better sleep, increases confidence and energy.  Put these benefits together and you will be more successful in the workplace and in your personal life!  So here's the question: among work, family, friends, hobbies, groups, trips, events, and anything else on your schedule, how do you fit gym time in??  I've compiled some tips I find helpful, and if you have some ideas, comment below!

1)Find the right time of day:
-Morning: I've heard it's healthiest to exercise in the morning because it boosts your metabolism.  No better way to way than to be mentally focused for your morning meetings!
-Lunch Hour: If your gym is close, or if you have a nice park nearby, bring your gym bag to work!  Or you can just slap on some tennis shoes and go for a fast paced walk with a friend.
-Right after work: This is my favorite option as it serves as a "pick-me-up" after a long day.  I keep my gym back in the car, change at the gym, and I gain the energy I need to have fun with family and friends in the evening.
-Late Evening:  If you've had events after work, or had to work late, this may be the only time available.  It's not recommended though- the increased adrenaline and endorphins will make it hard to fall asleep!

2)Find the right activity:
-Whatever you do, make sure you have VARIETY!  It's the best way to achieve overall health and make sure you're hitting all muscle groups.
-Gym time: If you go to the gym, again, make sure you're using a variety of machines- DON'T just do the elliptical the whole time.  Mix cardio (treadmill, bike, or stair climber) with doing free weights or other resistance work (weight machines, bands, yoga ball, etc)
-Exercise classes: Great for group motivation and if you don't want to plan out your exercise routine! Especially good if you do a variety of classes (kickboxing, yoga, weights, etc)
-Outdoor activities: Spring is just about here- get some Vitamin D by taking a jog or going on a walk.  Maybe even get a tan to counter your office whiteness!
-DVD workouts: People have seen great results by following P90X or Insanity routines!  Using the videos takes out travel time to the gym.

3)Find motivation:
-Everyone is different so find what will inspire you!
-Friends: have a buddy join you!  Exercising can be a great time to catch-up and have fun together.
-Co-workers: I've heard of offices doing the "Biggest Loser" challenge.  A little competition never hurts!
-That pair of skinny jeans or your favorite dress: Hang them where it's visible and will serve as a daily reminder of what you're working toward! (A picture of an inspiring person or celebrity works too)
-Choose great music: up-beat music with a fast tempo or motivational lyrics can increase your resolve.
-Get rid of your temptations: maybe that's a certain type of food, or a habit.  Substitute with fruit or a different activity!
-Write down your goals!  You can also share them with friends or family.  There's power in writing things down and/or vocalizing them!

Again, if you have other time-saving ideas, please share them!

As always, be classy, be kind, and you'll earn the respect you deserve.

Adding Someone on LinkedIn ...Tip: DON'T use the default message!

I once heard someone say: "If you didn't get their business card (updated: "if you don't add them on Linkedin...") then the great conversation you just had might as well have never happened."

Networking is important for so many reasons: it's the top mode through which people find their next job (60% cite networking in finding their current position), it's how we get great advice, ideas, and critical feedback from more experienced individuals, and it's an opportunity to pay it forward by helping friends and family find positions, business partners, or clients.  Business cannot happen without human interaction and relationships, which is why social media tools like LinkedIn are so helpful!

Back in the day, business cards were meticulously organized into binders or a Rolodex.  Within a few years, we might not be using business cards at all!  Either way, it's important to find a method for turning a great chat, a helpful conversation, or a influential introduction into something you can keep track of.

Here are a "best practices" for adding someone on Linkedin:
1)Only add them if you actually MET them.  If you heard someone speak and you thought they did a great job, don't send them a connection request if you didn't even take the time to introduce yourself. I would suggest having a meaningful conversation with someone before adding them.  However, if you plan to get to know them better in the near future and feel the need to add them urgently, at least make sure you have at least been properly introduced.

2)Ask or let them know you'll look for them on Linkedin.  People are more receptive to something that doesn't come as an unexpected surprise.  So, as a conversation comes to a close, I usually try to say something to the effect of: "It was so great speaking with you.  If I think of other questions, would you mind if I reached out to you?  Possibly through Linkedin or email, whichever is easier for you?"

3)When is best to add them?  Remember that when people are really busy, it's all too easy to face and conversation.  I would suggest adding someone in the window of 4-24 hours.  This way you'll be fresh in their mind, and they may be impressed with your initiative in taking the effort to connect with them.

4)The Message.  To leave it? Or change it?  If it's an good friend you see all the time, and you're just now realizing that you're not connected on Linkedin, I'm sure they won't be hurt if you don't personalize the message.  However, for everyone else, I would suggest modifying the message so it doesn't say the generic: "I'd like to add you to my professional network on Linkedin."  Try to include something specific to your conversation: a joke, an insight they shared with you, or something about a friend you have in common.  And most importantly, if you want to keep in touch with them, include a question or "hook" so it will seem comfortable for them to message you or for you to reach out to them in the future.

Important last note:  Linkedin is for keeping track of connections and relationships- it's not the best place for creating new ones.  People are skeptical of an unseen internet friend.  And if you have a question that wasn't answered above, please feel welcome to comment below!

As always, be classy, be kind, and you'll earn the respect you deserve.

Do Comfortable, Professional, AND Fashionable Shoes Exist?? YES!

Comfortable high heels, unicorns, and mermaids are all beautiful mythical things.  Or are they??  You can find beautiful pumps, but they're never comfortable, you can find comfortable shoes- but maybe they're not professional.  Well, my goal is to debunk this myth.  Read on!  (I'll leave the rest of the myths to the National Inquirer.)

The following quote perfectly describes the dilemma at hand: "Lawyers stand in court all day, business executives race through airports, and real estate agents are going up and down stairs showing houses. When you consider that all of that activity often takes place in painfully uncomfortable shoes, it is no wonder so many women professionals are looking for new shoe solutions."  In fact, possible problems can include:  hammertoes, dislocation of joints in the feet, and even stress fractures in the metatarsal bones. Yikes!!

So, what's to be done?  I've rallied up a few solutions:

1)Flats!  If you will be standing for long periods of time or will be walking quite a bit, keep them handy to change into.  Most of the time flats can fit in a purse, briefcase, or backpack!  I even know several friends who keep an extra pair in their car, desk drawer, or gym locker.

2)Tennis shoes! For those who live in the city and have to walk longer distances, you need to protect your feet, and this might allow you to walk at a quicker speed. However, I've never been comfortable wearing tennis shoes with business attire, so I just stick with flats for walking. (Puma makes some comfort shoes that almost look like professional flats: http://www.shop.puma.com/Winning-Diva-Bling-Ballerina-Flats/pna304000,en_US,pd.html&cgid=13120#!i%3D0%26color%3D01)

3)Inserts!  Not my favorite option because sometimes the inserts move around and can irritate your foot.  However, Dr. Scholl's makes some great options!

4)Know good brands!  There are a number of brands that tote comfort and professionalism, and you might find a pair that suits your taste!  Note: they can be quite expensive, but a really good pair can last for a couple years.  Here are some of my favorites: 

-Geox: My absolute favorite. A European brand that is carried by Nordstrom and can be found on Amazon as well.  Known as "the shoes that breathe." (www.shopgeox.com)

-Cole Haan: Paired with Nike to use Nike Air Cushioning to make the heel more comfortable.  Check out this gorgeous number, but beware of the price!(http://www.colehaan.com/colehaan/catalog/product.jsp?catId=100&productId=135382&productGroup=135379)

-Sofft and Born: very similar brands with a similar look (and a nice sturdy heel!).  They take a while to break in, but they are SO comfortable after you get used to them! (www.sofftshoe.com and www.bornshoes.com)

-Naturalizer: Typically are really easy to walk in. (http://www.naturalizer.com)

5)Shape of the Shoe!  Ankle straps, wedges, and platforms offer the foot more support.  However, be careful that you keep these in the professional realm- typically pumps are more closely associated with professionalism.

As always: Be classy, be kind, and you'll earn the respect you deserve.

Best Looks for the Workplace: Do's and Don'ts of Make-up!

The essence and purpose of makeup is to present your best self.  There has been a lot of debate as to where the line exists between not enough make-up and too much make-up. I would add to that confusion by saying: it depends on the individual!  I found some great tips from womeninbusiness.about.com, but before presenting them I want to tell you all: keep it natural, elegant, and be confident!

• If the first thing people notice about you is your makeup- you are probably wearing too much or the wrong colors.
• Too much makeup can make you look gaudy, older, and like you are on the prowl.  Send the right message to others by keeping makeup light and fresh.  Heavy makeup under office lighting does not do any woman justice, in fact, if your office has fluorescent lighting any makeup you wear will appear heavier than it would under incandescent lighting.
• Dark colored, bright red, and heavy lipstick is fine for evening events but keep lipstick colors pale and sheer for the office.

Like the tips say, wearing too much or too colorful makeup can communicate all sorts of messages that you don't want to be sending: not confident, too gaudy, too self-absorbed, or, my favorite: "on the prowl."  So I stick with my message: the more yourself you are, the more people will respect you!  I've attached some pictures, I hope they help!  Comment if you have questions!! (I'm not a makeup professional, but I have makeup artist friends!)

Interview Prep Part 2: You've got a suit on, does the rest matter? YES!

Sorry girls.  Having a suit on isn't the catch all.  Your whole first impression needs to align and say to your interviewer: I'm professional, prepared, and put in the time and effort to show you I want this position!   Thus, let us discuss other helpful accent pieces and possible deal breakers: accessories, hair, and anything else you may have on or with you!

1)Hair:  So many possibilities!  I'll pose a couple options, but feel free to contact me if you have specific questions.

• Down- I once tried not to laugh when I had a girl walk in with her hair done as if she were going to prom- you know what I'm talking about right? The hair-sprayed crisp curls?  Maybe she DID have a prom that night, even though she was about to graduate college.  Either way, stick to your natural look.  If you straighten it, don't go too crazy, but if you decide to curl it, just stick to something simple like curling the ends.  Make sure it looks nice... everything in moderation, right?
• Up- I think a pony-tail or bun is completely fine!  It can look sleek or sophisticated (and if you have a tendency to play with your hair when you're nervous, this might help you take away the temptation!). Keep it age appropriate though, you don't need to look like a 70 yr old librarian.  
• Half-up half-down- this is always a good "I can't decide between up or down so I'll do both" look.  And it typically flatters any face shape.  Just make sure any elastics you use aren't 80's scrunchies or bright yellow.  Match your rubberband or barretts with your suit color.

2)Accessories:  SO MANY OPTIONS!  Remember, less is more.  

• Nylons- I personally avoid them at all costs.  However, if it's the middle of winter, I would suggest wearing them especially if you are wearing a skirt suit!  If you go with nude, make sure it matches your skin tone, and if you go with darker tights, promise me that you will only wear the "sheer" shades.  Mat dark tights are really only meant as fashion tights and don't look professional.  
• Scarves- Scarves are one of my favorite accessories, but I don't suggest wearing one in an interview.  It can detract from clean, sharp lines created by a suit.  
• Glasses- Is it true glasses make you look smarter?  I haven't checked for statistics, but it can create a more "serious" look.  But you don't have to wear them to prove a point.  I think glasses are completely personal preference, and in all cases, stay away from excessively bright or funky frames.  (And don't walk into the office with your sunglasses pushed to the top of your head!)
• Jewelry- The more simple, the better.  Dangly earrings, statement or chunky necklaces can all be very distracting.  I usually just stick with simple studs.  And if you find that a necklace is absolutely necessary, stick with a VERY simple one (and stay away from long necklaces).  Also- I can't live without a watch, so if you wear one, make sure it's classic and goes with your suit, and try to avoid looking at it!  (And this goes without saying, but toe rings and ankle bracelets died in the late 90's).

3)What to carry??

• Portfolio-This is the best option: sharpest looking, simple, and the easiest.  All you need in an interview is typically your resume and something to take notes on.  (I have a portfolio with a zipper section where I store my car key... and I leave my phone in the car!)
• Purse- Only take it if you have no other alternative.  You don't particularly need to apply lip gloss every few seconds!  And if you worry about leaving it in your car (for safety reasons), try storing it in your trunk.

I hope this was helpful, but I'm sure I missed something!  If you have questions, tack them below in the comments section, and I'll be sure to address them in subsequent blogs.  

As always: Be classy, be kind, and you'll earn the respect you deserve.

Girls: Want the Job? Here's How to Dress for the Interview!

Tomorrow is the big day.  It's late at night, and you really should go to bed, but you just can't decide- what should you wear for your important interview tomorrow?? And you haven't even started thinking of shoes, accessories, perfume, and the portfolio vs. bag vs. purse dilemma!

There are so many opinions out there, but lets get to the root of the issue: how can you make a great first impression and get the job?!  Although many people much more experienced than I am, I conducted somewhere between 1,400-1,700 interviews in the past three years, so I have developed a bit of a strong opinion on the issue.  Especially as it pertains to females- as I believe I've seen more variance in their interview attire.  This post is going to be PART 1 and will focus on how to dress.  PART 2 will focus on accessories and other tips!

So, first things first-  whatever your outfit choice is, make sure it fits the culture of the company.  What type of company are you interviewing with?  If you're interviewing with a company centered in the arts, fashion, or even tech- they might see your outfit as a way to get a sense of your personality and artistic sense.  BUT- in all other cases, all professional companies (or any company run by those of older generations) will expect you to arrive in professional attire.  So read on!

I developed a quick and standard checklist, so hopefully your decision will be that much easier: (and remember this is targeted to the female audience!)

1)Clothes: 

• Suit- Wear a suit especially if you're interviewing with a financial company or where highly competitive.  I recommend sticking with conservative colors (black, charcoal, or navy).  I have occasionally seen a sharp looking tan or brown suit, but your safest bet is to stick with darker colors.  In the pantsuit vs skirt suit debate, I'm neutral!  Go with whatever fits your body type best (you'll feel more confident and happy).  However, if you do chose a skirt suit, make sure the skirt at least comes to the top of the knee, and doesn't have a slit higher than two or three inches in the back!  
• Blouse- Stick with classic colors (white or light blue).  A white blouse makes your dark suit look sharp, and blue blouses evoke a sense of calm.  Stay away from other colors (yellows, reds, etc can tend to cheapen the look or be too overpowering).  Stay away from low cut or silky tops- you're not going to the club!  You don't want anyone to be distracted by what you're wearing. You want them to focus on your personality and what you're saying!

2)Shoes: 

• High heels- Yes- you can wear them! ONLY if you wear them correctly.  I would stick with closed toe, dark shoes with a 2 in. heel or less.  High heels can make any look classy!
• Flats- These work as well.  Stay away from flats that have excessive bows or sparkly things.  Again, you don't want to cheapen your look.  Stick with dark colors that compliment your suit.

Stay tuned for next week's post, and you'll be sure to be successful!  And don't forget: Be classy, be kind, and you'll earn the respect you deserve.